if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
