so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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