I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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