Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
