Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
