I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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