Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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