I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
