You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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