what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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