Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
