just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
