He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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