So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
