I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
