oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
