Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
