So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
