just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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