Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
