Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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