so let's talk penis.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
