somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
