To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
