i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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