just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
