Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
