I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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