D3 body, D1 cock
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
