walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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