I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
This girl is more easily done than said...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
