it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
