no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
