guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
