so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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