its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
