Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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