it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Acid is not a monday night drug
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
