Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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