we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
