Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
