At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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