not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
