Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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