Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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