Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
