youre lurking in front of me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
