i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
