dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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