I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
